Posted by
Michael Goodell on Thursday, July 17, 2008 12:47:49 PM
Having concluded that deification alone is not sufficient to keep the infantile left on board the Obama juggernaut, his acolytes in the mainstream media have upped the ante with frequent fawning comparisons of the junior Senator from Illinois to John F. Kennedy, the once-junior Senator from Massachusetts.
The similarities are uncanny, and uncannily legion. Both rose to prominence on the strength of their awesome oratorical powers. Kennedy was married to Jackie, a beautiful, classy dame wearing pearls. Obama is married to Michelle, a beautiful, classy dame wearing pearls. Kennedy had two photogenic children willing to ham it up for the cameras. Obama has two cute little girls, one of whom, according an article in "The San Francisco Chronicle," said she thought it would be "cool" to live in the White House. Both project a substantial change to politics-as-usual. Kennedy surrounded himself with intellectuals like Andre Malraux and Arthur M. Schlesinger. Obama surrounds himself with intellectuals like Chris Matthews, Jeremiah Wright and William Ayers.
Both men went to Harvard. Both men wrote books describing formative periods in their life. Both had to run against major precedent-breaking obstacles: Kennedy’s Catholicism, Obama’s African-Americanism. Kennedy gave a speech in Berlin during which he called himself a jelly doughnut. Obama wants to give a speech in Berlin, though given our more health-conscious era, insiders suggest he is more likely to compare himself to a whole wheat bagel or, in a bid for Hispanic votes, a tortilla.
Given these remarkable similarities, it is possible to project Obama’s Presidential achievements by studying Kennedy’s. Early in Obama’s Presidency, he will sign off on a CIA plan to train Iranian dissidents. He will promise them air support when they launch an attempt to overthrow the oppressive theocratic regime. Once the invasion is underway, he will renege, and the rebel forces will be slaughtered at the Bay of Unclean Flesh.
JFK fulfilled his promise to meet face-to-face with Nikita Krushchev with no preconditions. The Russian Premier was so impressed with his interlocutor’s sincerity and grasp of geopolitics that he immediately embarked on the importation of nuclear-tipped missiles to Cuba. Obama has promised to meet face-to-face with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with no preconditions. Given his own sincerity and grasp of geopolitics, it seems reasonable to assume that the Iranian President will promptly invade Iraq.
Marilyn Monroe once figuratively prostrated herself before the President while singing "Happy Birthday" to him. Since she is no longer with us, Britney Spears will have to assume the duties during a future Obama birthday celebration. Elton John will write a song for her after she dies.
After the filibuster-proof Democratic Senate majority approves Obama’s proposal to raise the corporate income tax rate to 65%, the President responds to wholesale immigration of most of the Fortune 500 companies to Ireland by saying, "My minister always said all businessmen were S.O.B.’s, but I never believed it until now."
Yes, the similarities are myriad, and ultimately frightening. Given the way Kennedy’s Presidency ended, one would think Obama would shy away from such comparisons. This subject is far too distasteful to pursue, so we will leave it up to "The New Yorker" to cast any other roles.