When confronted with Russia’s Caucasian adventurism, President George W. Bush responded by cheering harder for Misty May-Traenor. Surely this has not gone unnoticed by our once and future adversaries around the world. If Bush can’t muster the resolve to counter the Russians, they must think, what can they expect from his successor, Barack H. Obama? Obama, after all, is the embodiment of those who excoriate the incumbent as a cowboy, a unilateralist, a warmonger. Those who wish us ill must be licking their lips in gleeful anticipation of the ascension of the junior Senator from Illinois.

While we don’t know the source of the first great challenge he will face, we know for certain that he will be tested, early and severely. How he responds to these tests will go a long way toward determining the future of American power and influence in the world.

One likely scenario involves China. Fresh from the airbrushed, lip-synched success of the Olympics, China’s leaders will no doubt test Obama’s resolve to preserve America’s commitment to the security of Taiwan. Soon after his inauguration, China will instigate a series of diplomatic disputes with the island nation. How Obama responds will help determine how far China is willing to go. A firm, forthright reiteration of our support for Taiwan would no doubt temper China’s aggressiveness. A timid, retiring deferral of the matter to the judgement of "the international community" will have the opposite effect. It doesn’t take too much imagination to figure out which option Obama will choose.

Once China presents the world with the fait accompli of its Taiwanese conquest, Obama will feel forced to act. Though preferring the photogeneity of JFK bravado, he will be more likely to follow the lead of the man whose second term he was elected to fill. He won’t know what to do, but he will know he has to do something. After an exhaustive analysis of his options, Obama will no doubt ask WWJD, or What Would Jimmy Do?

The answer will come quickly and clearly. We should boycott the Beijing Olympics! A great idea, flawed only by the fact that they will already have included. This is where his otherworldly grasp of nuance will come to the rescue. In a perfect melding of Carteresque resolve with the moral suasion of that other, more compatible JFK, Obama will announce that a retroactive boycott. Assembling all the American medal winners to Washington, he will personally lead them in a march to the Chinese Embassy, where they will all throw their medals over the fence onto the embassy grounds.