In an impressive demonstration of its willingness to engage with President Barack Obama’s more civil, sophisticated and internationalist approach to foreign policy, North Korea detonated a 10- to 20-kiloton nuclear bomb over Memorial Day weekend. This time it appears chief thug and blood-thirsty murderer Kim Jong Il may have gone too far.
Accustomed to a history of appeasement, no doubt the Dear Leader was taken aback by the unanimous cries of outrage and condemnation which greeted the blast. Obama, eschewing the cowboy diplomacy of his predecessor, who repeatedly called for a coordinated international response to North Korea’s provocations, called for a coordinated international response to North Korea’s provocations. “North Korea’s nuclear and ballistic-missile programs pose a great threat to the peace and security of the world, and I strongly condemn their reckless action,” the Commander in Chief elaborated.
Most of the rest of the world’s leaders joined in the chorus, including those of England, France, Germany and Sierra Leone. Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, it is rumored, responded to the occasion by offering to lend another book to the American President, in this case his treasured copy of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.”
Not to be outdone, China, formerly the world’s leading force for restraint in the civilized world’s response to its client state’s serial violations, said it is “resolutely opposed to the test.” The “Wall Street Journal” noted that the Chinese statement was “nearly identical to its response in October 2006 (the date of North Korea’s first nuke test), but stronger than its response in April.”
World leaders took heart at this development, because it was only with China’s support that the United Nations Security Council was able to draft a strongly worded resolution banning North Korea from conducting nuclear development. The Security Council forcefully condemned the North Korean test, stating that it was a “clear violation” of the 2006 resolution, and that it would start work immediately on a new, more strongly worded resolution. Some UN insiders speculate that it might even say “STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!” Others suggest the resolution might take the form of “If I have to turn around one more time I’m going to stop this car and give you a spanking!”
Regardless of the particular language they choose, most observers believe North Korea has no real intention of using its nuclear arsenal, preferring to use its existence merely as a means of extorting more money from the west, or to earn much-needed foreign currency by extorting its technology to other rogue regimes, and possibly terrorist groups.
Even if nuclear weapons find their way into the hands of terrorists, or, in the parlance of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Neapolitano, “man-caused disaster causers,” this should pose no real threat to the United States. Even if man-caused disaster causers do manage to detonate a device in, say, New York or Washington, D.C., Obama administration officials are confident that the Justice Department will manage to shift the ensuing criminal trial to some other as yet unincinerated city.