Fresh off his surprising win on the hit new show, "International Idol," President Barack Obama (D-Chi) announced a plan to provide a one-time $250 payment to Social Security beneficiaries. This gift, which will also be paid to Supplemental Security Income recipients, veterans, railroad retirees and government retirees, is slated to cost $13 billion. The President gave no indication of how he would pay for this act of largesse, though White House officials said it would not harm the solvency of the Social Security fund. "How could it?" asked one administration official who requested that his name not be used as he was not authorized to tell the truth. "The fund’s already bankrupt, so what’s another $13 billion?"

The payment will replace the annual cost of living adjustment (COLA), which is designed to insulate Social Security beneficiaries from the ravages of inflation. This year marks the first time since COLA was enacted in 1975 that an adjustment hasn’t been granted. Because the Consumer Price Index actually declined last year, there was no statutory justification for increasing benefits. However, since by law benefits cannot be reduced, in theory at least, receiving the same benefits should constitute an increase in disposable income.

This happy turn of events is not sufficient for the President. "Even as we seek to bring about recovery, we must act on behalf of those hardest hit by this recession," he declared. Strange, one would have thought the 10% of the workforce who have lost their jobs would have been hit harder that those on a fixed income during a deflationary period. But then again, one has not won the Nobel Prize for Economics. Nor has The One, yet, though this act of benevolent legerdemain may well secure him next year’s award.

Still, one who has garnered not a single Nobel Prize, not even the Peace Prize, which one understands they’re just handing out like candy on Halloween, suspects benevolence may not be the prime motivating factor in this "gift." It is entirely possible that, as the Administration proceeds in its efforts to foist an unwanted "health care reform" on the American people, it is not unaware of the fact that, aside from various tin foil hat brigades, also known as fiscal conservatives, senior citizens constitute the bloc most uniformly opposed to the President’s objectives.

Thus, in the style of the stereotypical Chicago Ward Heeler, Obama has come up with a plan to buy senior citizens’ support. While there is no word yet on how effective this ploy might be with individual seniors, lobbyist groups such as Alliance for Retired Americans have already endorsed it.

Still, one wonders how to determine the current market value of an old woman’s vote. Is it just $250? Or will she want more? Hmm, this may require some research. Perhaps if one can assemble a well-researched, well-reasoned abstract on the subject by year end, one might be able to wrest next year’s Nobel Economics Prize away from the International Idol.