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There is an Irish legend about something called “The Kennedy Seat.” According to the legend, whoever fulfills the quest to attain this seat will be granted a mythical power called “The Sixtieth Vote.” Two people have accomplished the set of tasks necessary to attaining the seat, but only one will be able to claim it. The final task remaining is contest called “The Vote,” which will take place next Tuesday in the mist-shrouded kingdom known as Massachusetts.

Amazingly, one of the two remaining contestants, a knight named Scott Brown, from the Republican tribe, has sworn to forgo the power of The Sixtieth Vote should he complete the quest. For the other contestant, the Princess Martha Coakley, The Sixtieth Vote is crucial to the survival of her tribe. Known as the Democrats, Coakley’s tribe has long been ascendant in the kingdom of Massachusetts, and in recent years has gobbled up vast amounts of territory which had been ruled by the Republican tribe.

According to legend, the great Irish Wizard Joseph once bestowed the seat upon the Kennedy clan, long one of the most powerful clans within the Democrat tribe. Until recently, a man named Teddy sat upon the seat. He was one of the last members of the clan capable of wielding the power and influence necessary to occupy the seat, and in his waning years was hailed by many in his tribe as one of the greatest in his clan.

Today, a new day has dawned, and some oracles predict that the seat will pass from the Democrats’ hand. Mr. Brown has gone so far as to rename the Kennedy Seat. He calls it the People’s Seat. As the day of the crucial vote approaches, many Democrat tribal leaders tremble in fear as they contemplate the loss of the Kennedy Seat and the power of The Sixtieth Vote.

Democrat warriors from throughout the land, led by a former chief, Bill Clinton, have descended upon the kingdom to lend their aid to Coakley in her final quest. The Democrats have seen their once vast power steadily weakened by a series of plagues called Cap and Trade, Stimulus, Bailout and Gitmo. Damaging though they were, none could compare with the power and devastation wrought by the most recent plague to descend upon them, Health Care Reform.

Health Care Reform was unleashed upon the unsuspecting Democrats by a fierce Dragon Lady called The Pelosi. Covered by giant scales and capable of immolating opponents with her fiery breath, The Pelosi drove hundreds of terrified tribal elders to do her bidding. Aided by an aging Knight called Reid, she forced the Democrats leaders to kneel in obedience to Health Care Reform.

Throughout the land, villagers who once believed Health Care Reform was a Holy Grail promising long life, prosperity and good crops, soon recognized it as a form of slavery. Though Republican tribal leaders remained cowering in caves and hovels following their disastrous defeat at Obamatide, the villagers rose up in protest. The Democrat tribal leaders responded by hurling their mercenary warriors, the ACORNS, the SEIUs, and the MSNBCers at them. Though out manned and over matched, the villagers relied upon the mystical power of The Web, and The Fox, to repel the invaders.

From the mists of obscurity Brown, the courageous knight, emerged to lead the Republican tribe to unforeseen gains in the kingdom of Massachusetts. While at this point it is difficult to say whether Brown will be able to withstand the concerted assaults by The Pelosi, Reid, Coakley and Clinton, his valiant effort has given new hope to Republican villagers throughout the land, and has struck terror into the heart of Democrat elders.